Dave Murray Camp Reports

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Murray Camp coaches think of themselves as invincible ski gods and goddesses whose s**t doesn't stink. And we have good reasons to think that way - we possess vast knowledge of ski technique, we ski powder with the grace of an ice dancer, we carve up icy slopes with the precision of heart surgeon (well, maybe a skilled butcher), alcohol has no effect on us and we posses movie star-like charms.

At least, that is the way thought of ourselves until Steve Jefferson, one of our loyal campers, called us out, worked us over and reduced us to the overrated ski bums that we really are. I personally am "absolutely shattered" (a British expression which British campers seem to use a lot while skiing with me) and am not sure if I can live with myself after reading Steve's revealing piece.

What is even more bothersome to me is that my Camp Reports seem like one grader's attempts at prose compared to Steve's masterful penmanship. I will stop now so that I do not embarrass myself any further, capitulate completely and let you read the unedited version of how Dave Murray Camps really work.

It all started with this e-mail below, which Steve sent to all of his friends, and past campers, around the world:

Well, this has been lying around for a week or so now. While a few people know of its existence, I hadn't intended properly letting it loose until I was allocated to Kindree's group this week. This just seemed kind of fitting given that, more than anything else, it was Dr Death's extensive campaign of provocation (particularly of the Peak to Valley cross-hairs) that finally pushed me into creating it.

In the event, however, things didn't quite work out as planned this week - rather than ending up in Kindree's group, I instead ended up with the 'flu (which - hard to believe - is probably even nastier than sick, twisted, old Dr D himself). After some time wondering what to do now with my little "vengeance weapon", I have finally decided to just let it loose regardless - even if I can't be around this week to take the flak. So here you are - just follow the link below.

http://www.fcentre.plus.com/murraycamp

Enjoy. Actually, you probably won't - as vengeance weapons go, this one is a bit indiscriminate (a lot of "collateral damage") - just remember it's all Kindree's fault - if he hadn't provoked me, I wouldn't have had to create it. Well, maybe.

-- Dead Man

PS. Yes, I do know I am going to die for this; however, he told me that was going to happen anyway.